I hope in all my posts that I help you realize that it's ok to just be yourself, without fitting into a stereotype or a mold. We spend so much time trying to become something that is really just an illusion that millions of others are also TRYING to become. Even trans people are desperately trying to look like the magazine woman or man and feeling bad from the failures, when even WOMEN and MEN are desperately trying to look like them and feeling bad at the failures, as well. It just takes up so much of our time and energy, much like trying to get a relationship, that is better spent on ourselves.
For today's "in between" I wanted to talk about something else that is not discussed, because so one wants to admit to being within the issue.... age groups.
When you are young and getting older, you want to be seen as being older. When you are getting older, you want to be seen as being younger. And the definition of younger and older is vague intentionally, since those are definitions we put on ourselves and create the dynamic. However, the very young don't care and live young. The old don't care and live old. Both are free from the struggle that IS CHANGE that we all fight.
I was delivering alcohol to a house this last week, and I had to put in her birthdate, which happened to be my month and day, as well. This caused a discussion, and she noted that I was nearly 50. I told her that I used to have a problem with that, but I'm feeling more and more that I'm ready to BE that, to which she replied... "a grown up?"
Of course, I have been living the life of an older "grown up" for quite some time, but we keep trying to not only not own our maturity as we age that we miss the quality of the aging. No one drinks young wine, and a "classic" is always a thing of value. Yet, in all of our desires to return to younger years, we miss the confidence and quality of BEING experienced, until we have few years left to enjoy it.
The fact is that I've lived the life, experienced the highs and lows, successes and struggles, etc. However, I'm not to the point where I can rest in retirement, either. I'm IN BETWEEN, as many of us are. Indeed, there are a LOT of us in between.... almost like a number worthy of a group ha.
No matter what age you are, you ARE part of a group .... of people pretending to not be their age. Imagine how peaceful life would be if you stopped stressing over being something else for someone else and just living in the truth of not only your experience but your bodily limitations and just said with a soft victory... I'm getting older, as you wake up with your normal aches and pains and go to bed at 9:30. The ache means you have survived, and many more reminders are in the years to come. Or, it could be growing pains of still trying to be older, if you are young. But for now, accept them as you plug along and enjoy ...acting your age.